9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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