i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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