Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Farmville is her only friend.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
