Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
