so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
