Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
