walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You need Xanax blowdarts
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
