I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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