I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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