he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
