I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
