He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Shitshow foam night was such a success
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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