If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I stole a fireplace last night.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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