wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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