i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
