how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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