that's an acceptable place to lick
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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