So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
