I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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