Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
