sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
