OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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