carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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