Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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