When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
