I smell stomach acid.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
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We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
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If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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