pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
