That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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