All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
