Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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