Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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