You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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