a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
