What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
