It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize