tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
