i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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