I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
