I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Also, beer. Big fan.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
