Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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