K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
