i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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