and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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