i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I skipped work to stalk him.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize