This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
