Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize