wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize