she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
