Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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