Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize