He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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