He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
