i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize