I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
