Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked