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so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
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