Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
