My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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