not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I FOUND THE LEGS
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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