bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
