Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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