Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
People in love make me want to vomit
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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