is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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